Snow days are so overrated.. im so frickin bored. I was supposed to go sledding with kiki sam hilary and maybe sophie?.. but no one has a ride anywhere. Maybe if we have another snow day tomorrow.. wich i HIGHLY doubt will happen just because our school is dumb like that. But I didn't think we'd have a snow day today either.. oh well.

Now i have to clean my whole room.. god snow days suck. hahah.. not really its better than school. i know i wont end up cleaning my room anyway. i already went through most of my closet, and oh my god theres so much shit in there. i threw like half of the clothes away that were in there.. there was like those really little dorky clothes you keep from like 3rd grade cuz you dont wanna throw them away. (me and sophie talked about this.. maybe its just us) but still, it was so funny. Like skirts I couldn't zip up anymore and ugly sweaters i'd get for christmas that i NEVER wore but felt bad throwing them away. hahah im such a dork.

I'm not sure why i made one of these.. i know i'll probably never use it, and if i do i'll never put it in my profile or anything for anybody to see. Oh well, who knows.. maybe i will. It's just something to do when you're really bored i guess.. atleast for me. But i like reading other people's, like ebony's.. she always has the funniest stories and stuff.. hahah. its so entertaining. sorry all i can do is talk about snow days and old sweaters.

I'm supposed to go visit michelle and dj this weekend with sophie.. haha should be some pretty good times. We have to ride down there with Ryan vanhorn, doaner and tim wilkens.. haha oh god. i dont even wanna know what thats gonna be like lol. Hopefully dj will have a party at his house when we're down there.. but i dont know if he'll let us go. hes always sketchy about it.. its different when we're at home. But im only 15 lol.. oh well. Mich says if we cant go she's gonna get us some drinks and we'll just hang out in the hotel room and make some good snacks. Haha, i love her so much, shes the best.

Everybody keep prayin for my lizzer - she's gonna be alright, and we gotta be positive about it. If you know whats goin on, good for you but i dont wanna tell a lot of people cuz i dont want rumors and shit starting knowing the people in our town. I've only told a couple people and i want it to stay that way. Besides, its not a big deal, she's gonna be fine! Shes a fighter lol, and itll be fine. Hell yes it will be fine.

So anybody know whats goin on with alan? just kidding i know whats going on. i still do have feelings for him.. but i think maybe i should just move on?? what do you think.. katie talked to him about it.. and hes like well if shes tryin to get back with me tell her to forget it. haha. so maybe i should just not worry about it anymore. I guess it doesnt really bug me because i know i've got a lot bigger things to worry about than some dumb 15 year old romance that obviously doesnt matter much to the other person now. Whatever lol. I'm 15 i dont need to worry bout this gay shit. hahah

Today started out pretty interesting.. me katie and sophie had a fight. Mr. Keech came to visit the school and it was stupid. we all sat huddled in a corner completely silent.. until katie started laughing and wouldnt stop humming. i guess she has a thing with silence. i dont know.. shes a crazy kid. But i dont care, we got out of economics of business, that class sucks ass i cant even explain it.

hmm what else interesting happened at school today.... oh the deer heart.. nasty. but it was actually pretty cool. ok im done with that now

Well, Liz went to the doctors today. We found out there's another tumor in the same spot as before. Shes gotta get more chemo now and i guess they're planning a trip to nyc to get a 2nd opinion from a diff doctor to see exactly what she should do. I think the only things in these times that keep me going strong is my mom and liz... i feel i gotta be strong for them. i kno if i was in either of their spots i wouldnt want everybody else freakin out and b worrying about them too. I find myself surprising inspirational too.. haha.. my mom started crying and i held her hand and was just like, Its ok mom, just be thankful we caught it when it was small. This is just another bump in the road and she's gonna get through it.. don't worry momma.  I might act like none of this bothers me at home... but it does. It hurts so bad, knowing someone you love so much is gonna have to go through that pain again. I feel sick to my stomach.. i just wish we could do something and make this all just stop and go away forever.

But life is life, you gotta take it as it comes and hold your head up high. Lizzer~if you're reading this, i love you so much, you have no idea and even though i'm younger i'm always here if you need somebody to just talk to. Like I said.. this is just a bump in the road.. you're so strong, I don't know how ya do it. You're my hero liz.. i know you'll get through this and you're gonna be just fine. I love you my lizzer

leave a comment

Well, today was a lot better than yesterday. Shit still sucks and I didnt like being at school at first, because i always get upset when somebody comforts me..like hugs me. dont get me wrong im so thankful people do care and do comfort me haha.. but just the way it gets to me. But it was good being around michelle and dj and mostly liz. just to be around them and know everythings ok and liz is still happy n not hurtin... it felt good. Plus i had no work or ne thing to do.. and i dont think i gotta go to school tomorrow. i forgot to say last entry, even tho its kinda obvious, we're not goin to newport anymore since dj and michelle are up here. its alright though i almost dont even care b/c so much is going on.. plus i still get to see them. Things just seemed so much more positive today.

Mich liz n i went to the mall today.. i got my haircut but i really dont think i like it. i dont know why.. maybe bc the lady that did my hair was a bitch.. and idk i just dont like it. oh well its just hair itll grow out again. its not even that much of a difference haha.

I dont know what else to write about.. hmm... the basements almost done. they're doin tile now.. then wood stuff like doors n shit and the wood on the walls.. then its done. hell yea... probably like 2  -3 weeks maybe?? the tile will take like a week then the wood probably a week or two. plus furniture n stuff.

ok well im probably gonna go hang out w/michelle n liz n ppl again... leave me a comment if ya want. much love to you all.. thanks so much for everything!! dont kno what id do w/out u  

it wouldnt take much for me to up and run
to another life somewhere in the sun.........

Haha hope everybody had fun in school today.. im havin fun, i just woke up not too long ago. aand im thinkin i might go to the mall soon? i dont know yet. Michelle made me skip school today, so we could hang out haha.. yeah im on the computer and shes upstairs on the phone. Oh well, im not at school so its cool. I hope i dont have too much work to make up.. whatever, im over it.

God my house is so dusty!! because of the basement.. its so annoying tho. well atleast itll be worth it.. i really dont think my parents are gonna care if i have parties down there a lot. and my dad was talking about jay bartending.. hahah. i think i'll leave myself in charge of that, thanks. but its gonna be so much fun.. and no im not an alcoholic!! i dont care what you people say (u know who u are..) Haha. Well me and sophie are on this dont drink too much thing after taking care of HILARY and SAM! Yeah, im sure you all know the story. But since i have nothing better to do i guess ill tell it.

Well, a couple weekends ago.. sam's parents went outta town for the night. So, yeah i got the bottle of vodka and we figured we'd have some fun. it was just me, hilary, sam and sophie. Sams little sister meredith was there too.. but anyway, after her parents left we decided to invite aaron and coleman over for a little bit. We had just gotten started.. and it wasnt even affecting us yet, but still being the retards that we are... we got all dressed up in sam's old dance costumes. haha it was SO funny.. i dont know what possessed us to do that. I had on this really really short purple velvet dress.. hahah... with one long black glove and a hat. I dont really remember what sam wore.. i think a short red dress. But sophie's and hilarys... god theirs was the best. Sophie's was these weird cheetah print pants and a shirt with cheetah print on the top.. then this huge tu-tu with cheetah print on the top. Hahahah what the fuck kinda dance u'd where that for i dont know.. but it was hilarious. Then hilarys... was like this bright orangeish/pinkish dress thing with huge sleeves and huge tu-tu type skirt. the shirt part was like all these different colors. hahahh, hers was the best. Ok, but anyway, after we got all dressed up aaron and coleman came over.. and they were like oh my god you guys are already trashed... but the sad thing was, we werent. But we were all in them for like 20 minutes anyway.. except for hilary.. yeah we had to like tear it off her, she wouldnt take it off hahah.

So after a few hours aaron and coleman left and it was just us. Sophie didnt drink too much, she actually only took a few shots. I had a good number but i wasnt even really drunk. Hilary and Sam though... yeah they drank the rest of the bottle by themselves straight.. they just kept takin shots. The first to go was Sam. She was in the bathroom over the toilet for hours it seemed like.. and during that time Hilary was smokin cigars with sophie talking about how much she LOVED everybody. hahah... "you know what.. i love you guys. i love you guys so much! i dont know what i'd do without you. And you meredith, you are my role model! you know, i look up to you.. i just, i love you all" Yeah. This went on for about an hour or two. Shes crazy. Oh, and yeah, meredith knew everything that was going on, haha. She was cool with it though, shes awesome. But aaaanyway.. i'm with sam over the toilet and sophies out in the kitchen w/hilary. shes like falling asleep at the table in the chair so we're like welll sams parents are gonna be home soon so we better put her to bed. We carried her all the way upstairs and put her on the bed. Sam kept throwing up and finally we got her up the stairs. We threw her on the bed too and we changed their clothes cuz sams had puke all over em.

So they're both sleeping and Sophie n i decided to clean everything up. i cleaned up sams room and sophie took care of the bathroom.. and we put everything away. I was finishin stuff up in Sams room when... all the sudden... i hear this noise. I start lookin around and then i see it... Hilary is laying face-down in her own puke still asleep, gagging. and shes STILL throwing up!!! oh  my god it was the nastiest thing i'd ever seen. Haha, i yelled for sophie and she came runnin upstairs. We put a bucket thing under her face and she threw up in that for a while. When she was done we had to take Sam's whoole comforter off her bed. And change hilary's clothes.. oh my god, the puke had gone all down her shirt and it tottally ruined her bra. It was all over her face and in her haair!!! omg.. so nasty. We spent seriously an hour cleaning the puke out of her hair with napkins. Finally... we had everything cleaned up. We just put everything in a huge nasty smelly bundle in her room. Everything smelled soo bad.. it was awful.

And thats why me and sophie decided we're never putting any of our friends through that. But people are right.. we were damn good friends to do all that for them. anybody else woulda just left em there in their own puke. hahah... oh well, shit happens.

Ook im still bored.... maybe ill go hang out with michelle now. Leave a comment..... : D

*prayin for ya lizzer, stay strong...

Woke up pretty early today.. like 830 or so.. im tired now. I went w/liz n got a manicure.. it was pretty good. Then im just sittin around, maybe cleaning (yeah right) then soccer at 4. Then im supposed to hang out with katie lynn. Michelle's being stupid because she said that since its her last night im ditching her and should be hanging out with her. First of all i thought they were staying longer so its not like i knew this was her last night here... plus i made these plans with katie a while ago and im not just gonna ditch her either. And i frickin skipped school yesterday to hang out with michelle all day. We started watching a movie and she started hanging out with liz like in the middle of it. Then i dont know, i didnt even see her for the rest of the day. Then that night we were supposed to go see a movie or something at the mall maybe. But she went out with liz. And now she's calling me rude because i had plans with my friends?? I thought we were gonna hang out all day  yesterday. and now shes pissed at me. i feel bad bc i do wanna hang out with her sometime this weekend but i made these plans a while ago and she did other stuff yesterday. its not like its my fault.

Alright thats really all thats goin on at the moment. maybe ill write later who knos.. leave the love

Hahaha the nastiest thing just happened... i was just talkin on here and i didnt realize there was an old can of pepsi behind my computer. i moved my computer back a little bit and it just spilled all over the back of my desk.. right down where all the wires are sitting on the floor. so im like FUCK shit!!!!! i unplugged all the wires and ran and got some towels. There's so much shit on my floor around my desk so im like kneeling in a pile of clothes trying to clean up nasty old pepsi on the floor. Then i started to back up from behind my desk and i hit something. i didnt turn around to look what it was at first.. i just heard glass hit. so im like oooh shit, and i turn around it was like a cup of rancid milk sitting on my table thing!! and it spilled on my pants and on the floor!! hahhahahah....... i think this is a sign that it's really time to clean my room now. omg, thats nasty.

Soo michelle and dj left today..i didnt get to say bye though because they left before we came back from church. they thought we had gone somewhere after church because church is SO FRICKIN LONG!!!! you seriously dont understand... first, they sing like a million songs. And its not even like we have a good chorus.... it sucks. So we listen to a billion horrible songs first, then the readings n shit, the important stuff, takes like 10 minutes total. Then theres these ppl comin into the church for the first time.. and it takes a few minutes for all of them to get up there and bless them.. which happens every sunday. Then today they talked about some new plan for the church for like 20 minutes. Plus.... during the prayer request thing, the lady says somethin like "pray for the pope blah blah" or "pray for the sick in hospitals and at home" and then we all go "Lord hear our prayer." NOW, because its lent... we SING it... in 3 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES. its soooo retarded!! its english latin and spanish. church seriously lasted for an hour and 45 minutes today.. it should take like 40 minutes total. haha, my dad tried to bribe one of the priests to make it shorter once. it was a few years ago, i think it was when father dave was the priest. he actually offered him money to make it shorter... hahah.

My mom went to a psychic yesterday.. and the lady went through all the kids. She did me first, and she said that i'm smart or somethin or "really bright" and im gonna have a job thats not like normal or traditional. Then she said that im kind of "flighty" or flitty... because when im supposed to be doing something i dont do it. She actually said that i like the computer and that whenever im supposed to be cleaning my room im on the computer. hahahah.. thats great. cuz its true.

Oh, Liz might go to nyc soon. they're tryin to make plans for her right now. Im guessin sometime this week, maybe not. I think im stayin with katerrrs if they go. Hang in there lizzer, you've been so strong through this whole thing and it's gonna be ok. I love you!

Ok well i really should clean my room.. its such a shit hole its not even funny. i gotta do gay homework n shit too. Leave me some love : )

"Stealing! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whats-his-name?"

~Homer Simpson, my  hero : P

Type your name with your....

Fingers: Margie

Nose: marie

Elbow: margie

Chin: ardgvfied <<hahahah

Feet: margfie

Eyes Closed using 1 finger: matgiw

Palm: margie

Mouse: margie

Wrist: mnszargie

Knee: .,fdvyhjntmn bnb

hahaha

So today was the first day of track... wonderful wonderful. It actually wasnt too bad though, we just ran from the school to captain bills and back. Then we did yoga shit on the wrestling mats.. me and vanessa are so scared of getting ring worm from those things.. so we figured just watch, we're gonna be the only ones on the whole team to get it. These next couple weeks are gonna suck though... uugh i dont wanna do it. I dont think ive been in this bad shape since... ever. I guess maybe indoor has helped but.. not really.

I got a new bed today, its so nice.. i like sink into it when i sit down. I dont know if its as good as katies, shes got the best bed in the world, but idk i think it cuts it close. My dad keeps trying to get me mad bc he has this special pillow.. idk he likes to tease me with things. I dont even really like it to be honest but i pretend i do just to make him happy. haha, hes funny i love him.

oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY HILARY!! hope you had a good one, i love ya.

and to kiki, i most certainly DO have talented body parts!! hahah... and shut up under my bed wasnt too bad. i do wanna go see the psychic w/ya.. i told my ma i wanna go next time.

ok i dont think think theres much else to talk about... leave me some love ; )

hahaha.... lol i was cleanin more shit out... and i found this. im gonna put it in here exactly how it is on the paper im not gonna change anything at all. Jay wrote this in 6th grade.. mrs. bianco's class. hahah

"Margie"

Margie is beautiful,
Smart,
Nice,
Funny,
Cool to hang out with,

Like my best friend,
We have known each other for 6 years,
I really love her but she doesn't know how I feel,
I wish she would give me another chance,
So we can dance in romance.

I do not care what Zach thinks,
Because I lover her so much,
And I love her every touch,

I think of her when I'm sad,
But when I'm mad she makes me glad,
So kind and so sweet,
That's why she's so lovely.

This is a little song I wrote.

When I grow old I wont to marry you,
Live in a cottage down by the bay,
And have three kids named jay, john, and Mary.

And when I die I will leave my soul with  you,
Just so my kids grow up to be happy,
And latter I will tell you the rest,

Well really that's my song

This was dedicated was to the girl I love.

Hahahah... isnt that great... lol poor jayers suspended for bringing alcohol to school.. and drinking it before 1st period. Yeah, i dont know why, but... haha.

Theres some more stuff i could put in here buuut i dont feel like it.. leave me some love and maybe next time i will

Well this weekend has been pretty interesting so far.. track's been goin pretty good. i actually dont mind running long distance.. but i'd hate to do it in a race. Last night was so much fun.. haha. Well i just kept eating... everything. eating and eating and eating, i ate like a whole plate of tater tots and a whole bag of grapes and all this other shit.. it was great. And we were all dead at like 11 00.. we were seriously in bed about to fall asleep. Then all the sudden.. i dont know i started spazzing out. whoever has math class with me knows just what im talking about.. it was just like that. i dont really know what happens i just freak out and i started wrestling sophie and vanessa. Then we were all wide awake and decided to get up again. Then we made the best movie ever. It was another whore movie, of course, i dont know we have sort of a thing with movies about whores. But anyway, Vanessa was the ghetto whore. She put these eyebrows on like way up on her forehead w/eye liner, then she put it all around her mouth. and then put "moles" on her face and wore a little hoochie corona outfit. hahaha... and sophie was the white house whore. She acted like all shy and conservative but then all the sudden she like stripped her clothes off and there was like *Clinton* written on her chest... hahaha. Then me, oh god, me, i was the hick whore. I had suspenders on and my hair in this really high side ponytail.. and huge black freckles all across my face. and i colored in one tooth. Oh yeah, i was pregnant too. omg though, it was frickin hilarious. and my boyfriends name was bobb joe. vinnies b/fs names were like j kwon, kaneil and willy. and sophies of course was clinton. Great times great times.

Wow i just realized writing this, what losers we are. i mean honestly, who really does stuff like that?

Then today, we woke up at like 12.. of course another one of my famous wake up experiences. I think most ppl kno what im talkin about. I do NOT wake up in the morning. I thought it was like 7 or 8 and i started hitting vanessa and sophie when they were tryin to wake me up. We did get 9 hours of sleep tho.. went to bed at 3 woke up at 12. my usual sleep schedule. Then we made our french video... hahaha... i guess ull have to wait to c that one in class. its great though. Then we had track.. it wasnt too bad. i havent sprinted in so long tho.. atleast not the 100. i suck. lol

Hmmm what else what else... liz is goin to nyc a week from tomorrow. Everybody keep prayin.. shes gonna be alright. She's so strong i really dont know how she does it. shes so positive about it n shes still havin fun.

Kids night out was tonight.. fun fun. Those kids are seriously crazy. All the kids were like best friends and then theres this one kid.. hes really fat and he just keeps telling everybody he's gonna beat em up. i mean i gotta admit its kinda funny but he actually was kinda scary. he was like my height and he'd talk to the other kids and be like You're stupid and if you talk to me again ill rip your head off. hahaha... i dont know. thats not supposed to be funny.

Im so tired tonight.. n ive got practice @ 9 tomorrow :-( . Maybe ill go to bed early tonight.. like 12 or 1 or so. Leave me some loooveeee

Nothin new really happened today... had a soccer game and i scored : ) I dont really have ne thing to write.. im so bored

leave me love?

Yeeah so today we had to run outside.. and it was frickin FREEZING. i couldnt feel my hands.. or my ears.. god it sucked.

Well today was a pretty good day.. except i really think i failed my math test. Either i failed or just barely passed.. but i think just about the whole class did the same. Because mrs. norman is the worst frickin teacher ever!!!!! i def gotta get a tutor soon.. me n hil might get michelle warren to help us. but we never have time b/c of track n shit. Oh well...

Track was better today.. it was soo much warmer out than yesterday. but i'm not a sprinter anymore : ( . Well i am but she might have me do mid-distance too.. like 400 and 800s. i had to run w/the mid-long distance ppl instead of the sprinters today. GUYS i cant do this!! i'm not a megan matthews : ( haha

Then i went to eat w/john nash n john michael.. those 2 are hilarious. then we went back n jus hung out @ john michaels. ive missed nash so much lol.. it reminds me so much of bein on the trip again : ( i miss all u guys.. we gotta have another reunion soon.. hahah. we had one like three days after we got back f. the trip hahaha... oh well... good timess

Yeah so im def. gonna frickin FAIL math!!! god i hate it!!!!! its so gay... it doesnt seem that hard, like, if i actually had somebody explaining it to me right.. i might be able to get it. but seriously half the shit on our test today i had never even SEEN before. i heard of these things 2 periods before the test. yeah i dont get SHIT in that class!!

Alright well ima go do my work.. jus vocab tonight.. and maybe ill start it b4 1130 tonight. Leave me some looveee : D

Today was ok, haha, we wore our dead sexy spandex to school today. Hot shit, lol.. good times. But i gotta put this in here.. cuz its just pure genius:

I think we should all take a moment to thank our good friends the Italians for inventing Catholicism so all you insignificant Irish people can have your little day in the spotlight. Because the only reason you're getting your little day is because of SAINT Patrick who wouldn't be anything without Catholicism and the brilliant Italians who invented it. So while everyones running around in green, lets just remember that green is also on the Italian flag, and that Italians STILL
 Do It Best
~Katie Lynn

haha.. isnt that just wonderful

so today was a pretty good day i guess. does anybody know why mrs. coon seriously hates us?? i seriously dont get it.. she like loved my sister and she liked us at the beginning of the year.. now its like every little thing shes yelling at me or hilary for it. when its like never us... it sucks. oh well though.. im over it. ms solomon doesnt like me either hahaha... buuut i could care less lol

aand that race thingy was ok.. thats gotta b the worst ive ever ran that tho.. hahaha. i got 33rd place tho.. hahah.. and 4th girl f. the track team. but brandi stole my socks that i won. oh well ill get em baaack

alright i guess im done for the day... leave me some love :D

I dont really know what to write about lol.. im just bored and i havent done this in a couple days. Friday night some ppl came up.. sophie vanessa john michael and john nash from texas. it was pretty good.. then sat. morning i skipped track.. then had a soccer game @ 4. We lost 3-1 to soaring caps.. but thats not a bad loss for us, haha.

today i had church.. frickin another hour and a half long.. then ive got soccer from 2-3. i think ill write later today.....

Today was ok.. I tottally forgot to do that french project last night.. hahah.. oh well i got it done after lunch. n i didnt do the math eitherr.. cuz that shits jus gay. otherwise school was alright.. ive got like no work to do tonight.

then track was aaalright i guess.. we had to do ladders up to 800 but didnt have to go back down. but we did run a mile before that n worked on field events.. they made me try high jump lol. i wouldnt try it at first but after i did it wasnt bad at all. idk if ill do that for an event tho.. probably def triple jump.

liz is goin to nyc tomorrow.. but im not goin  ne where cuz ill jus be home for like 2 hours alone. i dont know what else to write abouut.... jus leave me some love ;)

Yesterday was pretty fun. I had school then the track team ran to capt bills and back. Easiest practice ever.. then we had the track dinner. It was pretty fun gettin to hang out with everybody.. lol i did like absolutely NOTHING and just sat by the wall w/joe b. Then i went bowling w/my sopha vinnie and katie lynn and Sooo many other ppl were there! we thought it was just gonna be like, us, john michael, and then josh n tim n their crew. but soo many ppl showed up.. like all the people at chavez's party were there, plus other people we dont really hang out with lol. it was good fun though, i didnt even bowl.. i just got shoes and sat down there hahah. i didnt even need to get shoes.. im just retarded like that. but u know what i just realized today?? i never paid for them!! hahaha... i just took them off and walked out.. i tottally did NOT realize it til today. ooops, lol.... Then we went back n spent the night @ katers. We just like passed out tho we were soo tired..

Then today was good Friday so i didnt go to practice, haha. it was optional tho so it wasnt a big deal. I came home from katies pretty early today, like 9 or so.. so i came back and went back to sleep. then i had to go to church at 530. my aunt n uncle came over for dinner after.. they're still here. so yeah i just got up f. the table and now im sittin on the computer bored.....

I think im hangin out w/my michie all day tomorrow :D.. i hope we actually DO this time!! lol. every time she comes home we make all these plans and they never work out. But this time we might.. ususally its bc i dont wake up til like 1 so all our plans our shot, haha... but i have track tomorrow.. i think.. so ill have to get up. then we'll probably go to the mall n stuff and then she might take me to landos! lol yeah should b fun..

Liz went down to nyc for her consultation thing w/the other doctor. and i guess he just agreed with the other doctor up here, that they're just gonna give her more chemo and stuff. i'm not 100% positive bout all the details, i just kno she's gonna get more chemo. i kno it sucks but we really just gotta b thankful we caught it so early this time. its still so small and they have lotsa options to choose from. So just keep prayin for her, and much thanks to all who have been..

Alright i think im done for now.. idk what else to write about. Leave me some love, you ;)

Liz said once.. Y'all talkin bout bad days.. y'all got no idea.

And do you realize how frickin right she is? I'm sick of how all ppl worry about is who they like and all this gay gossip and cliques and all this fuckin GAY SHIT! i cant take it any more!! Especially just bc all this shit thats happened to liz. All the shit she had to go thru.. all the pain us, her whole family went thru.. and alls i ever hear is bitching about who likes who and oh my God did you hear what she said about her. All people wanna do is create DRAMA. Seriously.. have you ever noticed.. girls NEED some type of excitement in their life. Always. My dad pointed this out to me once.. if theres nothing REAL or WORTH worrying about going on in their life, they've gotta think of somethin. they've gotta think of some shit jus to make their day a little bit more exciting than the one before. thats how rumors get started, especially in our small ass town.. cuz nothing ever goes on here.

Ok and i kno this is sorta off topic.. but i've gotta get it out in the open cuz i kno everyones thinkin it. I'm so sick of our gay little group things we've got in our friends now. It's always me sophie and katie and then hilary sam and amy. And the other ppl just stick to one group or switch back and forth. it frickin PISSES me off. I love sophie and katie so f*ing much and i wouldnt trade our friendships for the world, but i miss my othere friends soo much. like, especially hilary amy and sam.. i was especially close w/hilary and amy. and now i feel like we've just become secluded into these separate groups of friends. And even if you havent noticed, ive been trying so hard just to become friends again. I ask to make plans, i try to walk with them.. but it seems like the only other person thats noticing this, or trying to change it is hilary. We've been trying to hang out and doing more stuff together. Cuz we both just miss what we had so much. and hil, thank u. and then all this other shit.. just isnt helping. Most ppl know what im talkin about....

Ok, im sorry. But i feel a lot better now. God, i dont know whats wrong with me.. i must be pms or something. sorry to all the guys who might be reading this.

I think i need to sleep. Leave me love, i need it.

i just read my last journal entry.. and i realized how many different ways people could've taken it.

But alls i meant by it was that.. I just miss my other friends. I miss when everybody used to be friends with everybody, like in the beginning of the year. Now we just have these little cliquey groups of friends. And the first part of it.. talking about how i hate how all people worry about is who likes who and stuff.. idk. I guess I just really wish things were that simple for me again. I know i don't show it, but every day i worry about liz. And idk i guess i just wish it was back to normal.. when all i had to worry about was that. And i guess i just get sick of hearing it sometimes.

But i'm sorry.. i dont know how else anybody could've taken it.. but after reading somebody else's journal.. it really made me think about it. If you took it any other way.. please let me know. Cuz thats all i meant by it....

Today I had to get up in the morning and go to church at 8.. but it was only like an hour long which is pretty short. and on Easter.. doesnt make sense. Then went to brunch w/the fam at Logan Ridge. It was pretty good.. then had to go this church thing that my dads doin. Now im just sittin around.. maybe gonna do some work soon. even tho i know i'll wait til the last minute to do it.. cuz thats just how i am.

But.. i just wanna say I LOVE YOU to all my girls.. and even tho things kinda suck right now.. things can always get better, like katie said. i'm glad i got some things worked out with a few people.. and i feel so much better. No matter how shitty things might get, i'll always be here.. if u just want someone to talk to, some advice, whatever. you girls are my world and i love you so much.

And.. haha.. this was in my cousin's away message was http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/coconut.htm .... haha good times w/sophie n vinnie.. our french video, lol. gotta love it..

Alright i think im goin.. Happy Easter everybody.. love y'all :D

I guess that since now people asked me some questions.. i can finally update.

Today was a pretty good day, i guess. Yesterday was our first track meet against OM. we lost, but.. we still did pretty good. they only beat us by like what 5 points.. and our whole team is like freshmen and sophomores.. and odessa's a pretty good team. I did alright in my events.. i came in last in my heat for 100 hurdles but in some weird way i got the best time out of the 3 people that did them from our team. Then i had the 4x100... but we did pretty bad in that, lol. we just gotta work on it more thats all. then 4x4.. god i was so nervous. i've never even had a time trial for the 400..and i had to do that race. and the worst part was, the win or loss basically depended on it. and i was the starter!! i was soo nervous.. but i just went n gave it my all. seriously, dont think ive ever run harder in my life. but it paid off, i got a 67.. thats only 5 seconds away from the school record!! lol. Buut nonetheless we lost, losing us the meet. but i still think we did pretty good. then triple jump, i got 3rd. i didnt think i did very good, lol. but oh well things are weird like that.

Then track today.. it was ok. we ran up to the cemetary.. n had to sprint up all the hills. then ran back down and did 2 500's on the track. after that a bunch of us went over to the guys baseball game.. not how that turned out in the end but it wasnt too good when i left. they were losing like 8-1 : /

Liz is gettin chemo now.. shes still fightin. i just wish this could all frickin stop and just go away forever. this is her 3rd frickin time goin thru this. seriously.. whens it gonna stop. it drives me crazy.. especially knowing that we cant do anything. just stand by and watch her take her chemo n get sick... hopin n prayin things will get better.

Only 16 days til the KEYS!!!! God i cant wait to get outta here!!! then guess what.. i might go to costa rica in june!! i asked my mom about it.. n she said shes gonna look at the details n stuff. that would b frickin awesome.. seriously, u guys have no idea how great the last trip was to ireland and switzerland. you meet so many new ppl, its awesome..

the basements gettin there.. i think they're starting the bar right now and they have the cabinets in. they put the tile on the walls of the bathroom too. so now they just gotta put the toilet n shit in.. the fridge and all that good stuff, n the bar. plus the furniture. shouldnt take too long!

Hmm.. idk what else to say. Leave me some love n some suggestions for next time :P much love

Yesterday was pretty fun. It was pretty nice outside..track was easy..went to the baseball game.. yeah it was good. then i went bowling AGAIN haha.. it was pretty fun though. i never even bowl. i just sit there and talk and watch other people, lol, but its still fun. then went to sophie's house with vanessa, katie and anna. lol, good times good times. me n vanessa met ryan at like 3 in the morning.. he was so trashed. it was frickin funny though. he had like this huge ass sweatshirt on.. then a jacket.. then sweatpants and jeans over them. oh yeah he had a korn hat on too, hahah.. but he had it backwards b/c he "didnt think we'd see the korn part". lol it was so much fun though. im gonna miss that kid, hes movin back to ithaca. :( :( but anyway.. we didnt realize how far ryan had to walk either, hahaha.. we were supposed to meet him "half way"... we like walked down the street and he walked down this huuuge frickin hill. we felt so bad on our way to track today cuz we realized how far away it was, haha. after we went back home me n vinnie made these things.. quesidilla things.. it was like 430 by then. thenn we finally decided to go to bed around like 5. then woke up at 8. not fun... it actually wasnt as bad as i expected it to be, though. is till have a lot of energy and its like 1130.

maybe its cuz of track.. but it wasnt bad today at all. we ran for a while n stuff but then we just watched movies. on triple jumping, lol, but nobody actualy watched them. so it was pretty easy.  

lol, i was just lookin at that Tags thing at the top of this page thing. first thing i noticed is how they used "spicy pork" as an example. hahaha.. how random. then the WTF? symbol. i mean who wouldn't think that stands for What The Fuck? hahaha..buut its whats this feature. still funny though. ahhh now that i clicked on it it wont stop popping up!! ahhh dammit!

alright i think im gonna go.. maybe i should get some sleep.. i have a soccer game today too, but i dont think its till 7. so ive got lots of time, haha. but leave me some love........

Oooh, and look.. yankees beat boston AGAIN today, 4-3. :D

Dont feel like doing a real entry... write some other time.. like u all care :P.. leave the love anyway

Today was an ok day.. the weather is soo nice right now!! Im thinkin bout going and laying out.. but its not gonna b as bright soon so i think i'll say screw that on this one. Track was pretty hard.. one of the harder day's we've had. but i can tell how much better shape im in. we did mostly speed work n sprinting today, and then had to work on the stairs on the bleachers. i have such bad shin splints tho... god.. they're killin me. thats probably cuz i dont ice em... but... still lol. i think ill start today, that might b a good idea.

Frickin yankees lost to boston today!!! im so pissed... but its ok bc they won this 3 game series. and the first game they had a 7 point lead. so, yeah, its ok. but still sucks! its gotta be cuz they didnt let my boyfriend pitch. yep, ive got a new boyfriend his name is Carl Pavaro he's the new pitcher for the yankees :D hes soo cute.. ill have to put a picture of him at the top of my blog lol. buut yeah.. yankees. yankees are awesome.

and guess what?! i like mrs. norman now. she let us watch the game in class today!! and even tho it still kinda sucks.. her teaching has gotten a little better. i feel like im sorta learning now! isnt that great?! lol. but i had a dream last night i was back in mr browns room :( i woke up all depressed. i miss that class so much!! we used to talk about yankees, simpsons, and seinfeld all the time. i mean come on, thats like my life right there. AND we actually learned. that guys great, you gotta love mr brown.

hmm... idk what else to write about. leave the love.....

Ahh just wanna say.. gotta love all my girls and guys. Life changes so fast. You really dont realize it.. then all the sudden.. it hits u hard. sometimes so hard u cant stand it. But when that time comes.. when you've fallen on your knees and scraped your hands and hit your head because of that hit, i'll be there to help you back up. whatever you need, ill do my best.. anything.. all you gotta do is ask.  I love all my girls n guys.. n ill always b here if u need me :)

Hmm.. the last couple days have been pretty good. Friday, school was ok.. we didnt get any homework for the weekend so that was good.. and track was easy. we just ran to capt bills and then to great escape n got ice cream, lol. then yesterday was our first track invitational.. it was pretty fun actually. a lotta ppl didnt have to do anything so we just sat around n hung out in our tents. but i had to run 4 events.. the usual.. 100 hurdles.. 4x1.. 4x4.. triple jump. i did really bad in triple jump, prolly the worst ive ever done, lol. our 4x1 came in 4th out of like 20 schools so that was good.. 4x4 we did ok, we got a PR.  aand hurdles.. it was ok. i dont really like hurdles, lol, i dont know why she puts me in them. i got soo burnt there tho.. uugh.. haha it was so much worse yesterday tho. then riight after my invitational i had to go to my last indoor game. we lost, as usual.. yeah it sucked. but it was so fun i still had so much energy left f. the meet. everybody was like margie.. wtf.. youve been in forever n you're just comin out of nowhere gettin the ball.. didnt u just have a 5 hour track meet?? lol. thats the last time we're playin w/that team tho.. w/the girls f. tburg. outdoor starts this week.. should b fun.

aand friday i was supposed to get a kitten. my dad said yes and so i was gonna bring it home n show my ma.. but she got pissed. so now joe westervelt has it. hahaha.. oh well. it was so cute though! atleast katie still gets to see it, lol. hmm... today i went to the mall w/sophie.. to get stuff for spring break. it was fun, i got a lotta stuff. but holy shit theres only 7 days til the keysss!!! i cant wait to get outta here. n theres only a few more days of school.. actually like 3 bc thursday the last half we're havin some like sports day er somethin.. then fridays a half day n u kno we wont do ne thing.

so michelle n dj arent coming home this weekend anymore.. it woulda been so much fun tho.. cuz dj was gonna bring all his friends w/him. michelles still comin home.. not til the weekend after that though.

aalright im goin.. leave the love :)

4 DAYS TIL WE GO TO THE KEEYSSSS!!!!!!!!

YES i cant wait!! its gonna b me, katie, sophie.. yeah crazy shit huh.. cant u just imagine..

ee cant wait :D

Thank frickin God... its finally spring break. we leave for the Keys on sunday. its gonna b so much fun.. i cant wait. i havent packed at all but..... everyone knows ill wait til the last minute to anyway. my michie came home this weekend.. on wednesday. she surprised me at my track meet! lol came out by the track and so i ran over n gave her a big hug n a kiss. and oh my god, it was so funny.  we were sitting there like holding eachother, and this guy from the other school comes up to us. he just kinda stood there for a second and then he goes "uh... are you guys like, boyfriend and girlfriend, but.. girlfriend and girlfriend?" and michelle and i just kinda stood there and stared at him for a second. then michelle was finally like "um.. no" and i go "shes my sister." so he turns around and goes, "DUDE they're SISTERS!" to all his friends. so obviously everyone thought we were lesbos, haha. even people on my own team thought i was over there makin out with some chick. hahah, it was funny though. we did ok in our meet, we beat t burg but lost to waverly by like 5 points. they're both pretty good teams though, so we did pretty decent. lol mine and katie's handoff got in odessafile. :D a bunch of us are on the high jump mat too. http://www.odessafile.com/sports.htm 

Hmm.. idk what else to write about. we went to lucatelli's for dinner tonight w/mary fraboni steve barnes n melanie barnes w/her fiance. it was pretty good. we met some, um, interesting people. hahaha. dont wanna offend anybody so im not gonna write anything. but, i guess u had to b there. it was frickin hilarious. and steve kept imitating napoleon dynamite, hes so good at it lol.

There was nobody in school today.. it was like all freshmen and sophomores, lol. we didnt do anything in any of our classes, so that was good. and track was ok, we just ran up on a trail by the gorge n then we all went to pizza hut. we gotta go to practice again tm though, at like 9. shitty. and i'm going on vacation with my mother fucking TRACK COACH. not smart. we're gonna have to run every day.. she said we get one day off, lol. but the good thing is, is that we're gonna be like the only ones still in shape when we come back from break, lol. i'd rather have to run every day n stay in shape than get outta shape and have to work up again. that's so much harder.

So.. i kinda like this guy, but i'm so confused bout it lol. actually, i have a pretty good idea whats going on but im just not sure how i feel about it or how he feels about me, exactly. oh well tho.. everyone knos im not really the type of girl to get upset or flip out about this stuff, lol. whatever happens, happens :P

alright goin to watch a movie w/my michie.. i probably won't write til i get back from the keys, unless i write tomorrow.. so leave me lotsa love!! :D

Leavin for the keys in the morning!! but im goin to sophies n spendin the night tonight.. so i won't have to drive there in the morning. We'll be back on Friday.. so leave me lotsa comments to come back to!! :D :D :D

Byyyyeeee

well spring break was awesome. theres just so much to write, idk where to start. soo i say, screw that. but ill say some things about it in here once in a while. we went snorkeling, that was fun. but i was so close to a baracuda i screamed in my snorkel and swam away. it was great though.

i learned a couple things about myself on this break. 1) i am so completely random. im not funny or witty, but i make people laugh cuz i just spaz out all the time. 2) according to katie, i'm a fat person trapped in a skinny person's body. seriously, I DONT STOP EATING. but i dont gain any weight. is this normal? im gonna be so huge when im older when my metabolism slows down. i guess you gotta pay for it all sooner or later.

have you ever eaten so much you feel like your gonna puke... but then keep eating?

whats wrong with me. hahahaha

im so..... man idk

Ok im bored.. so ill tell you a story from vacation.. me katie n sophie were just standin by the side of the road. we were walkin back to our hotel from dinner. and i swear u cant walk a block down there without hearin a whistle or somebody honk at you. it was soo funny sometimes though. the funniest one i think was.. we were standin by the road, sorta by a garbage can. and some guy comes over and started leaning on the garbage. so we're like, ok just walk away.. but then he follows us and he goes "hey im about to go get  naked in a hot tub.. wanna join me?" hahah. he had puke on his shirt and he smelled soo bad like alcohol. he was obviously tanked. it was great.. sophies just like "um no thanks" hahaha. and another time i was talkin to sophie and i was pretending to be mad at her or somethin gay like that.. but some guy drove by us in a van and hes like "baby, why you mad baby?" and i just laughed and im like "oh im not mad" and hes like "what are you doin tonight?" and i go "i dont know yet" and hes like "come on baby you gotta have plans! you gotta have goals!" hahah it was great.

then we made another friend too. it was some spanish dude like blastin his music in his pick up truck, hahah. but he drove by us once and he just like looked at us and i think he whistled. then he turned around and drove back and he sorta pulled over.. and he goes "andele! andele" and then drove away.. god it was funny. we just laughed at him.

im so frickin bored... leave me some love...

I woke up at like 10 today.. man it was too early. i was supposed to go to church at 12 15 but then liz called n asked me to wait n to with her at 5 in elmira. so im doin that. i really gotta clean my room anyways.. its such a shit hole. it was already kinda messy before, then when i got back from vacation i just threw all my clothes every where. our room in the keys was soo messy though. our crap was ALL over the place.. i felt so bad for the maid haha.. i think all she could do was make our beds and give us new towels. It must suck to be a maid.. just going around all day picking up other people's shit. i don't think i'd be able to take it. i can barely pick up my own. it was kinda funny though, my dad saw my room and he said to pick it up because "a messy room reflects a disturbed mind". do you think this is true? i mean i know im not "disturbed" but do you think people that are, have  messy rooms? personally i dont think it makes a difference.

DJ and michelle are really coming home this weekend, lol. and they're bringin all their friends. i cant wait, its gonna be so much fun. their friends are awesome, lol. so there should be a couple parties at my house this weekend :P.. i think vanessa's gonna come over too. it should be a good time, but its not like i can do anything cuz of training rules for track. ;) but really.. id get in so much trouble. but even if i did, anyone that found out wouldn't say anything. because EVERYONE in our school does it. so it'd just be stupid to tell on someone else.

Man i do NOT wanna go back to school tomorrow. i'm anxious to see everyone, but... ugh. and that romeo and juliet stuff.. ive got all my lines memorized but idk how great i'll be in front of the class, haha. i really hope we're not supposed to talk in an accent or anything cuz i suck at that stuff. if i were to ever act at all, i'd have to be the slow retarded person and goof off. like the dopey from the seven dwarfs. i couldn't ever seriously ACT.

wow, genie in a bottle just came on the radio. remember that song?? back when christina aguilera was normal, just another pop star. theyre doin a blast from the past thing i guess on this station. i used to love this song, hahah.

hmm.. i kinda wanna write about something meaningful in my next entry.

any suggestions?...

ook so screw the meaningful shit. since nobody left me suggestions. except for maa wonderful celeste :D haha

aanyway... i stole this from emily

A - Age you got your first kiss: 13

B - Band listening to right now: nothing
C - Crush: mm somebody :P

D - Dad's Name: Denis

E - Easiest person to talk to: hmm a lot of my friends..

F - Favorite bands at the moment: too many.. lol
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: Gummy bears
H - Hometown: good old WG

I - Instruments: used to play.. piano, clarinette, guitar for a lil bit.. wanna start guitar again :)

J- Junior High: Watkins Glen High School

K - Kids: none

L - Longest car ride ever: down to MB w/michellie o brien in like 5th grade

M - Mom's name: Christina

N - Nicknames: margie, marg, marger, i'm-in-sano, onasima

O - One wish: liz get better.. every1 keep prayin

P - Phobia[s]: sunflowers.. hahaha
Q - Quote: "Life is just a big mess no one can ever sort through or clean up... u trip over things, make new memories and come across old ones, but the whole time ur thinkin where the fuck is that one thing im lookin for.." <<my sister michie was my inspiration for that one :)

R - Reason to smile: when somethings funny

S- Last song you heard: destiny's child-soldier

T - Time you woke up [today]: 6:30
U - Unknown fact about me: im addicted to gum.. and dayquill :P lol jp not dayquill.. but gum i am
V - Vegetable you hate: mm i like any food hahah.. yeah, yeah... fat person stuck in a skinny person's body, i kno i kno....
W - Worst habit(s): procrastinating and overthinking things

X - X-rays you've had: like 2
Y - Yummy food: Spaghetti, steak, chocolate, ice cream.. i could go on
Z - Zodiac sign: Scorpio

Leave me lotsa comments!! :D

Soo im sitting here bored in Economics of Business... dont wanna go to soccer today after practice.... gaaaahhh

woo sha

Wow... huge track meet today. It was the Twisted Classics relays.. a few events that aren't normally in track meets. there were about 11 schools there! it took forever. it started at 430 and didnt end til 9 tonight. Seriously, i just about died. she had me running like every freakin event back to back! ok first was the 4x100, we did ok, we came in 3rd iin our heat so we  made it to finals. then i had a break because it was shuttle hurdles n i didnt do hurdles this meet. then right after it was the 4x200, which we came 1st in our heat so we made it to finals in that. then RIGHT after, i had to run the 400 open. but then riiight after that, i had the 4x100 finals. so it was like a 200 then a 400 (which frickin kills me) then a 100, all in a row. i was seriously so sick. i could just taste the puke in my mouth n i was so dizzy. my heartbeat just wouldnt slow down and my voice was shaking so bad. and, just wait, i had to go run ANOTHER 400! in the sprint medly relay. i wasn't gonna do it, i was gonna have andrea, my alternate do it. but i just sucked it up n did it anyway. i couldnt do my best but i gave it my all. we ended up coming in second. but oooh, just wait. i was dead after that. and then, yes, i had to go run another 200! thats 6 frickin events!!! it sucked ass. but heres how me n my relay teams did:

hahah my brothers drunk friend just came in here talking about how sophie's not ghetto again. hahaha.. god this is so great.

back on subject...

• 4 x 200 ~ 2nd
• Sprint medley relay ~ 2nd
• 400 open ~ 3rd
• 4 x 100 ~ 4th

So yeah, i guess you can say we did pretty good. i mean this was out of 11 schools n some of them were pretty good. n guess what, we tied with 1st over all!! yeah it was good. but soo tiring.

After my meet i just came home.. dj and all his friends are here. it's pretty entertaining. they're all drunk off their asses talkin bout nothing. but its so funny. im pretty tired so i just decided to go to bed. but tomorrow should be even better, i guess they're havin a big bonfire tomorrow. tonight they just hung out in the basement cuz its pretty much done. i played some cards er some shit with them, it was pretty fun.

ok i think im goin to sleep. leave me lotsa loveee :D

Well well... last night was a lot of fun. Not goin into detail, too tired..

we lost our soccer game yesterday, 6-0, we sucked ass. we've got another one today tho.

Yeah so i guess my brother's friend steve reads this. hahahahaha. maybe i shouldnt write some of the shit i do in here. oooh well and im over it: nnnnnnnow. sorry... from the simpsons. lol

ahh

come on now its ok.. its 5 o clock somewhere!

In french class.. only a couple more minutes so im not really gonna write. but ive got my track meet soon and i feel.like.shit. I just wanna go home.. but i still have to run n jump and its senior night tonight at the meet..so i dont wanna miss that

time to go lv me some

                                **Forever 16**

* Kyle Gregory * Brennan Love * Seth Marcellus *

                                 RIP  5/4/03

forever in our hearts.. keep lookin out for us, boys..

I stole it from somebody else's blog.. but.. its funny

Hmm, today was an ok day i guess. i came home early from school but it was fun when i stayed, haha. we did the renaissance fair and i was the town drunk :D hahah.. it was so much fun. i just walked around and harrassed people.. mostly amy. yeah, it was a good time. then i stayed for art n science.. then came home. it felt good to get to sleep again, tho, lol. i stayed home from school yesterday too.. but i gotta go tomorrow so i can run in the track invitational on saturday. i really dont want to though.. my knee's so messed up. it hurts so bad, just sitting here. and worse when i walk round... its a bitch when i try to run. and last night, i was just sitting there, with my legs stretched out you know, like how you'd sit on a floor.. and my foot fell asleep! i think bc of my knee.. and then during school i was walking around and it started to get all tingly. i iced it today, maybe it will make it feel better but i doubt it. mayb i should go to a doctor.. what should i do??

michelle's comin home for the summer tomorrow.. n shes not goin back to newport for college. it'll be cool havin her closer to home tho, we'll get to hang out a lot more. i miss her so much when she leaves, lol. im not positive what she's doin but i think she's goin somewhere in corning or syracuse. and liz will be in syracuse still so it should b a good time. i cant believe this school year's almost over... crazy... but i dont wanna deal w/all the finals n shit :(

Ugh my knees hurt... n i jus feel like shiiit... leave me comments n make me feel better :)... its 5 o clock somewhere... jk its 5 43 here.. so leave me comments bitches ;)

Since yesterday and the day before.. i've gotten alot better. I still have a stuffy nose n a chest cold but i actually have energy now. that's really the only thing that makes me feel sick, is just when i have no energy and i feel so worn out. i can deal with just a stuffy nose and a cough.. but i know i'm really sick when i have no energy. and ive slowly regained it since wednesday. but i feel so bad cuz i havent run since tuesday!! i dont wanna get outta shape.. i think i might go for a run later. man, i shouldnt push it.. but i def dont wanna get out of shape.

I basically just slept all day today again... as usual. Then when i finally woke up i had to clean my room. Soo i just put my clothes into some piles and went and ate dinner. Right now im supposed to be cleaning it still.. buut instead im sitting here on the pile of my clothes, with my laptop, writing in my blog. Man i am SO productive! i think im the worst procrastinator ever... that reminds me.. i have a shit load of homework to do this weekend. wonderful.

I can't believe there's only like a month left of school though.. this year has gone by so fast. Everyone's always told me that.. "Just you wait high school's gonna go by so fast.. every year goes by faster.. then wait til you get to college" and i was always just like Yeah, yeah i just wanna get outta here. but i mean its only my first year of high school and its already pretty much over... its damn crazy if you ask me. and i've only got 3 years left til im off to college. Ok so dont get me wrong that still seems like a long way away to me. but if high school keeps goin by this fast.....

Michelle and DJ got home last night. Yeah DJ wasn't gonna come home but he came anyway n surprised my momma for mothers day :) . But michelle's home for good. She's transfering from Newport and goin to Corning next semester. im so glad she'll be closer to home! I think she's gonna be a lot happier over there.

Shiit... tomorrow's mothers day... damn. gotta do somethin bout that, huh? I'll think of somethin. Maybe ill write her a poem... lol who knows. ill get it done eventually.

So how am I feeling, how am i feeling... anxious for summer to come.. worn out from all this work and running... happy michelle's home... dreading to go back to school. I do like school, i like seein all my friends n stuff.. but this year i feel like i really  haven't been putting as much effort into my work. I still get good grades, i just feel like i dont try as hard or care as much. I think.. i think it's because all my problems have changed so much, you know? I mean it basically started last year, with Liz.. before i was worrying about what-friend-said-what behind my back.. and then all the sudden i was worrying if my sister would make it through her next surgery. It just gave me so much perspective, that i don't need to be perfect and always be number 1 in my class.. because all i want is right here, in my family, and in my friends. But i still just cant help but strive for that excellence now.. and i feel like i don't have that same drive as before. Plus, its high school.. it seems like everybody i talk to is just like "work?.. why do you do work?".. and stuff. but i really want to succeed, and i think especially since its the end of the year i gotta start working my butt off again. and stop procrastinating!

Shit... that reminds me.... gotta get going... leave lotsa comments..

Ok so i've found out why i've been so sad lately. ENDORPHINS!!! i've had such a lack of endorphins lately because i havent been to track or soccer in like a frickin week. cuz after track, which was a pretty hard practice but not really that bad, u'd think i'd be all tired and stuff. but no, i was so happy and ready to just get all my stuff done. n then it dawned on me. so im feelin good now. still kinda sick, but good :)

Ive got soo much work to make up.. plus gotta clean my room. So sit back, relax, pour somethin tall n strong, make it a hurricane before you go insane cuz its 5 o clock somewhere...

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Margaret Mary :P
Birthday: Nov 3
Birthplace: NY
Current Location: ahh stalker
Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown
Height: Don't know.. 5'7"? round there
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: Half italiana, 25 native american, 25 swedish
The Shoes You Wore Today: Flip flops
Your Weakness: Procrastinating
Your Fears: Losing loved ones, Hell, failure
Your Perfect Pizza: Lotsa lotsa cheese and pepperoni
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: good grades, stay close with all my friends
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol and hahaha
Thoughts First Waking Up: Awww shiiit
Your Best Physical Feature: Idk....
Your Bedtime: Anywhere from 12 to 2.. on an early night 11 30
Your Most Missed Memory: When all of us were just friends and happy.
Pepsi or Coke: PEPSI... duh... what do you expect
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Depends on how comfortable you are with the person yet.. but.. i prefer single

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Depends... both
Cappuccino or Coffee: hmmmm... i'd have to say Coffee

Do you Smoke: cigars, yes
Do you Swear: every once in a while..mostly when im mad

Do you Sing: Sometimes... but not very well :( haha

Do you Shower Daily: try to
Have you Been in Love: dude im only 15
Do you want to go to College: yep
Do you want to get Married: yes
Do you belive in yourself: Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness: only if i eat a lot before lol
Do you think you are Attractive: some days
Are you a Health Freak: no not a freak.. like to stay healthy... but.. no
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:  Love em
Do you play an Instrument: yep
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yep
In the past month have you Smoked: cigars, yep
In the past month have you been on Drugs: nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: ummm....no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yess
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no.. lol.. wtf
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: nope
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: yeppp
Ever been called a Tease: yes... def.. lol
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: something not painful... in my sleep would be nice <What do you want to be when you Grow Up: psh noo idea
What country would you most like to Visit: Italy :D

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: ehh all seem good to me

Favourite Hair Color: brown
Short or Long Hair: both are good as long as it looks clean
Height: taller than me
Weight: More then me
Best Clothing Style: ummm......American Eagle/abercrombie...I love boys that dress like that <Number of Drugs I have taken: none
Number of CDs I own: dont know
Number of Piercings: 1....Ears
Number of Tattoos: none
Number of things in my Past I Regret: idk... i try not to dwell on these things

leave me commentsss

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Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #3 Match: ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Yeah today pretty much sucked. I'm def still sick and i just keep pushing and pushing it.. well i've felt funny/tired/sick all day, but i mean i feel like that a lot lately so i just shrug it off. then in lab, the last period of the day, i stood up and i almost passed out. everything started getting all black and my heart started beating really fast so i knew i was gonna pass out. a lot of people know, but i've had a problem with passing out and stuff.. i have like vasal-vagal thing where i have a tendency to pass out under certain conditions i guess, haha. soo anyway, i stood up and i knew i was gonna pass out, i could feel it. so i just laid down on the floor, right there in front of everybody tryin to get their papers and all. haha.. that's what the doctors n stuff always told me to do so i did it, lol. so then mrs. coon gets all nervous and calls the nurse down. and they had to bring a wheel chair down and wheel me back to the health office :(. it was so embarrassing, haha.. but anyway, yeah this SUCKS because i was supposed to run in IAC's today for track. and i still really wanted to go, but the nurse n my ma made me go home. i mean i know i always say, jeez i'd do anything to get out of running today, blah blah blah.. but everybody knows that i really do want to run and im just so anxious and nervous, lol. but i was pissed.. but like my head still feels funny and i still feel kinda dizzy. just not to the point where i'll pass out, i know that. but i'm goin tomorrow!! i dont care.. im goin to school n then to the 2nd day of IACs, lol. gaah... but i guess in the long run its more worth it for me to just come home and rest rather than to push it. my mom was like "if you didnt come home.. if you ended up passing out or something on the track meet you wouldve ended up in a hospital".. b/c they woulda called an ambulance and stuff. that woulda been so much worse. but still, im kinda mad. im sorry to the track team!!! sorry for my alternates that have to run in my events :( sorry ms fitz that i couldnt come... uuughhh

So yeah.. this sucks ass. but theres just some things you can't do anything about. guess i gotta take shit as it comes n live with it. iits not the end of the world i've got 3 more years on track. lol.. its just a track meet. and i get to go to the rest tomorrow :) i hope!!! lol

If you were to lose your sight tomorrow, what is the last thing you'd want to see?

just a random question... leave me comments...

~margie~

Because the things that we .:accept:.

Become the things that we regret..

I'm sorry.. to anyone i might've offended because of my past entrys..

my intentions weren't to hurt you.. or give you unwanted attention..

it was just my thoughts, just my fears, just my worries

and i never wanted it to be any of yours

but i love you... and ill take it out...

but im sorry

And i can't help but blame myself for this.. i write one little thing in here.. and look where it ends up. im sorry and i didnt mean to start anything and i didnt tell anyone else to do anything. i didnt want to hurt anybody. and i gotta tell you, if i were in your shoes... i'd be damn pissed too. im sorry

1. What is your name? Margie
2. What color underwear are you wearing now? black with a pink heart and pink lace
3. What are you listening to right now? my sister yelling at the dog and tv
4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? cell-16 house-44
5. What was the last thing you ate?  dinner.. chicken
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? red
7. Hows the weather? mm kinda rainy.. gray
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my sister Michelle
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Face, hair, muscles... i agree w/emily lol
10. Favorite Food? steak... i like any food though.. seriously
11. Favorite Drink? depends.. coffee most days
12. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? Hmm..alcohol is alcohol to me.. as long as its not nasty
13. Favorite Ice cream? twist
14. Hair color? brunette
15. Eye color? brown
16. Do you wear contacts? nope
17. Top or Bottom?  bottom... sure... lol
18. Favorite Month? summer months.. July or August
19. Favorite Fast Food? i gotta say arby's.. or wendys.. no, subways better..everything else is kinda gross lol
20. Last Movie you Watched? umm... shrek 2 :D
21. Favorite Day of the Year? the day school gets out
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? not really.. not if i feel comfortable w/the person.. which i usually do
23. Summer or Winter? Summer
24. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? depends.. i like both
26. Do you want your friends to respond back? YES
27. Who is most likely to respond? probably Celeste.. since she loves me so much.. and always leaves me nice messages :D shout out to celeste I LOVE YOU CELESTE!! (you deserve it, i mean, you left me one :P)
28. Who is least likely to respond? hmm... not sure
29. What's your favorite T.V. show? Simpsons, Family Guy, Seinfeld
30. what book are you reading? the one we have in english.. a tale of 2 cities.. but i wouldnt really consider sparknotes reading, would you?? :X
31. What's on your mouse pad? Umm some kinda space thing...lol
33. What did you do yesterday? church then soccer game
34. Favorite Author? hmm idk..theres lots
35. Who inspires you? my sisters
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Butter and salted
37. Dogs or cats? hmm..... idk lol.. both are fine
38. Favorite Flower? psh idk.. just not sunflowers.. hahah katie n soph...
39. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M.? "shit do i REALLY have to get up and walk over to the snooze button??"
40. Do you still talk to your best friends from middle school? Yes.. I've grown apart from some.. alot.. that i wish i hadn't.. but we're still pretty close..
41. What's on your desk? computer, printer, papers n shit..
42. Rock Concert or symphony? Rock Concert
43. Play or Opera? play
44. Have you ever fired a gun? Do paintball guns count??... yeah same here
45. Do you like to travel by plane? Yep its good
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right
47. Smooth or Chunky Peanut Butter? both are good to me
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2
49. City and state you were born in? Elmira, NY
50. Ever hitchhiked? um....no

Spinning, tumbling, crashing down

Get rid of this unnatural frown

You don't really know how this has hurt

Your face again rubbed in this dirt

It eats away your happiness,

Yet you haven't loved me any less

Your strength and courage, I have to admire

Burn this cancer with a fire

You're fighting this with all your might,

Trust in God, let go of your fright

That smile's still there after all you've faced;

But with sadness is that smile laced

You shouldn't fear, dear girl, my sis

Cuz God will grant this one great wish

Just keep that might inside your heart

And that cancer won't know where to start

It'll be gone, just wait n see

You'll finally be back to bein free

So girl keep your head up high

Wipe your tears now, don't you cry

Oh can't you see, oh don't you know,

My inspiration, my model, my hero.

In EOB... great fun, yeah.

Boooorrrreeed

Katie says: I dont have a collar to pop. Motha fuck!

my fish finally died.

hahahahahahahahaha

ok so i never took care of it.. but honestly.. who can actually remember to take good care of a fish.. it just sits there. i didnt realize it died til now.. idk how long its been dead for cuz i havent fed it in like a week and a half.

ew. its all moldy.

hahahahahahahahah

poor fishy

prick eyes says: i'll eat your kids! motha fuck.

leave the comments

Welllll

If you want to change something but you cant.....

finish it for me

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

i love getting them.. comments pleease :D

Happy Birthday Katie Lynn!!

Today was an ok day... tracks frickin overrr..... basically.

Ever have those moments.. you're tryin to keep it together but you're fallin apart.

GO YANKEES!! they're creaming these people right nooww.. i think they're playing detroit. yeah. 5-0 in the 4th with runners on 2nd and 3rd. yankees are amazing. dont you agree?

"Who are you to judge the way I live? I know i'm not perfect and i don't live to be. But before you start pointint fingers.. make sure your hands are clean"
-Bob Marley

a little random, i know.. but hey...... ok i don't know where im going with this. just leave lotsa comments.

~margie~

Aww shit

Another day, another boring day.

Ok so no.. nothing excited happened.. but i'm so easily entertained.

Random thoughts:

• just another day of track.. and i don't have to run. hell yes
• i'm finally admitting, i'm addicted to mindsay.
• i can never make my mind up about what's my favorite. Of anything.
• i'm addicted to coffee
• ..and gum
• i love to sleep
• ..but i usually dont go to bed til like 1 every night. oops
• SOPHIE'S BIRTHDAY IS SATURDAY!! happy birthday soph!!
• i could live out of my purse
• i like filling out paper work
• i need to CLEAN MY ROOM

shit... better get on that.

ok since nobody ever leaves me many comments.. i just won't even bother saying it. cuz it makes me look like a stupid unloved person. but thanks to the people that do!! ok im done :) 

~margie~

I don't know why i get like this,

Why I get these thoughts sometimes.

Maybe its just the choices I make

Or all I see is the bad in things.

But i'm a happy person, I know i am.

But all the sudden.. ill just want to run away

For no apparent reason. and it makes me mad.

Because i'm happy.. i love my life.. and

I always want to feel that way.

Maybe its just a bad day, Maybe its just

PMS, who knows, but sometimes i hate it.

Cuz im such a lucky girl, i've got everything i need.

My friends.. family.. school.. sports.. i love it.

And yet all the sudden i'll hate it.

Who knows.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIE!!! :D :D

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

"Life is just a big mess no one can ever sort through or clean up... u trip over things, make new memories and come across old ones, but the whole time ur thinkin where the fuck is that one thing im lookin for..."

~margie~

Well, my sister says it best...

jesus christ another punch in the stomach

all we can do is pray

i love you

Ok.. just so everyone knows.. that last entry isn't about Liz. Right now things are going ok with liz, she's just getting chemo and stuff still. It's about my aunt.. she's had pancreatic cancer for a while now. she just got really bad and she's in ICU.. we don't think she has much longer.... but we just gotta keep praying. but thank u for thinkin of liz anyway, that still means the world to me. i love you all.. ill probably write later.

~margie~

Well today's been a better day.. i only got 4 hours of sleep last night.. so i was crazy at school today, hahah. especially right in the morning, during global. celeste and amy musta thought i was psycho.. hahah.. ok so i am. but it was fun. idk its weird, cuz i was really sad for the last couple days. like really sad. but it seems like when im around my friends.. or just ppl that arent family.. i cover it all up. it's like my way to escape from it all.. i just act tottally different. and then its like, as soon as i get home.. its all reality again because all the sudden all the fears and emotions come stabbing me in the back again. no, im not depressed at home or anything but.. im def not all hyper and cheery like i act at school. i think its just my way to deal with it.. i tottally just block all the bad things out. maybe its just because i subconciously feel this need for attention right now, just to know that people care about me. and i don't want pity, so i act goofy to get people's positive attention. maybe, maybe not. i just over think things til i beat them dead. know what i mean? my head's just gotta come up with a solution or meaning for everything. its weird.

I'm not sure how my aunt's doing right now.. i'm kinda scared to ask. i went up to see her yesterday... i dont really know how i feel about that. its just.. its so hard to see someone you love so much in so much pain. i learned that with liz.. every time before i was gonna go into her room in the hospital to see her i was like oh im gonna be fine.. i had no doubt in my mind. and then as soon as i walked in the room the reality of it all just fell on my head like a ton of bricks. and i'd cry.. but try not to let her see, you know.. i've always felt an obligation to stay strong. for my family, for myself.. and i never wanted to cry in front of them. even though i did. a lot someitmes. thats how i felt when i went in to see my aunt aggie.. i really wanted to cry. but shes just so strong.. she was sitting there still crackin jokes, tubes in her and all. and it was actually kind of comforting. it let me know that she was ok, she was at peace with it. and that it was ok to still laugh and smile despite what we know what's gonna happen. and thats just one of the many reasons i love her.. she's always got a sense of comfort and happiness to her.

death is so strange.. it brings along so many emotions.. so many the human body and mind can't really understand or withhold. but death.. is a part of life. and everyone's gotta deal with it sooner or later. it's one of the hardest things a person has to deal with in life.. because its just so... damn unpredictable.. yet completely inevitable..

Ok.. i've decided.. im too addicted to mindsay. and the computer in general. i need to be doing something useful with my frickin time.

so im taking a break.

leave the love for whenever i decide to come back.......

Ok so I'm done with my break :) haha.. sorry if  ya missed me.. sure none of you really care anyway, lol. bitches.

juust playin..

only the rest of this week, three days next week and then a regents on the 22nd and im DONE with school for the summer. hell frickin yeah.. i cant wait. and my E BONER comes up here in 7 DAYS!!!! man i cant wait. we are gonna have some craaazy times, right eb?? make our model videos, hahah. oh god, i tottally forgot about that until i saw that lol. that was so much fun though, hahah.

Soccer's over. Track's been over. So now all that's left is school... aaahhh.. i just want all this shit over with!!

So i had a pretty.. ahem.. interesting weekend. hahah, lets just say dont ever fuck with me. because ive got a big brother. who has friends. hahahaha yeah most of you know the story. but it was hilarious.. i love DJ, i know hes weird but im so lucky to have a brother like him. haha ok so he's not weird.. but he's my big brother.. come on, lol. hmm.. hes just a taaad protective of me... and he doesnt take any crap when it comes to his little sisters lol. Same with his friends.. yeah i think they're almost as bad as him. Well i dont know about just as bad.. but they're definitely pretty bad too haha. Im pretty sure most of you know what happened that night, i dont feel like explaining it on here lol. maybe sometime later...

My aun'ts going pretty fast.. yeah i dont really wanna write about it. But just pray for her.. thanks all u guys who are..

Hmm.. man i feel like i havent done this in forever. Leave me some love and tell me what i should write about for my next thing...... later :)

Ok.. first, thanks for the comments :D hahaha.. katie you crack whore i mean head. that was pretty entertaining.

Alright so I guess you guys wanna hear the story about the weekend....

It all started way back in september. haha yeah, september. and i started talking to chavez monteiro a little bit. like, we would talk on the phone and stuff once in a while and talk in school. and then about a week later i hear this rumor going around school that chavez made a bet up about me that he could bang me by the end of the month, or something like that. and yeah i was mad but i talked to him and i was over it, whatever. but i did tell my sister, who told my brother DJ. and he's just a liiittle protective of me.. ok he's really protective of me. and he FLIPPED OUT. seriously, he called my cell phone at like 4 o clock in the morning telling me how he wanted to kill chavez and blah blah blah and if when he comes home from college hes gonna beat him up and all this stuff. it was kind of entertaining if you ask me, but still... ok then jump to last weekend....

Last saturday i was on the phone with andy gimbar and i kept getting these text messages from chavez's cell phone.. they were asking me what i was doing and stuff. it was chavez, dustin campbell, erik dahl, nick kelly, and ben cummings. and they wanted to come up to my house to hang out to drink and stuff. and i didnt really want to, mostly because chavez was there. and he's dirty and i dont really like him, honestly. i've always been nice to him.. but yeah. i didnt really wanna hang out with him. So i wrote back and i said No, i didnt want to hang out. Because my brother was up here with a few of his friends and they had just gotten back from the bars, or something. it was DJ, steve lee, tim wilkens, and ryan van horn. lol ok if you dont know, ryan's huge, steve's got an anger problem sometimes and tim's just.. idk tim's funny. hahah. Ok, but anyway.. i wrote back and said no, i didnt want them to come up bc dj was here with his friends and they'd get mad. so they left me alone for a little bit and then they kept asking me, "are they gone yet? can we come up?" blah blah.. and i kept tellin andy. and he was like "just say you're on the phone with me and for them to leave you alone". and i thought it was funny so i said that to them haha. and chavez wrote back, "go fuck yourself". and i didnt answer but a minute later he wrote back and said "j/k we're coming up right now." and, to tell you the truth i was kinda pissed. and i told andy my brother and his friends were here and i guess he knows ryan and tim so he wanted to talk to them. so i went down in the basement where dj and his friends were and i told him all about chavez and how he wanted to come up here and he told me to go fuck myself. aaand dj was maad. he was like "margie call him up! come on marg have him come up i just wanna scare him." and i wasnt gonna go along with it, but, what can i say, i just couldn't resist.

So then ryan, steve and dj get all into it. and they're out on the porch sitting there waiting for him to show up in the dark. and i was goin crazy im like, guys, come on don't do this, its not a big deal. but dj was pissed. and the guys were already on their way up here so im like alright, whatever. So we're hiding out on the porch and chavez shows up by HIMSELF. yeah. not with everyone else. i told you he was dirty. hahah.. but no i guess what really happened was somebody chavez knew drove by and everyone else hid so only he got a ride up here. So he gets up here, and the other guys are all still on their way up, walking from erik's house. ok but anyway, ryans like "margie call him on the porch" cuz chavez was just kinda standing at the end of my driveway, lol. so i did and he starts his way over. and this is where everything really happens....

He's sort of in the middle of my yard, and i'm standing on the porch waiting for him to come over. and i hear ryan next me going, "he's all yours, boss, he's all yours" to my brother. and so DJ just kinda comes out of nowhere and walks up to chavez. So he pushes him, and hes like "who are you, huh??" and chavez is just like "uhh.. chavez.." and my brother just goes off. hes like "oh yeah? the little fucker that made up that bet about my sister?!" and he TOOK HIM OUT. omg, it was crazy. DJ just like kicked his legs out from under him and CHOKE SLAMMED him on the ground. So DJ's all up in his face, pushin him around on the ground. He was like "You dont fuckin say that shit about my sister!! And i saw that text message you sent her, tellin her to go fuck herself??" and chavez is just like "i was kidding! i was kidding!" and djs like "oh yeah?? i dont care! you dont say that shit to my little sister!!" and dj's got his knee in chavez's chest, right where it hurts. and he keeps sayin shit to him, sayin he better never say that "fuckin shit" to me again, and you know, stuff like that. and then Dj's like "are you scared??" and chavez just kinda kept tryin to fight him off and didnt say anything. and ryan's standin right there, and hes like "i dont think hes scared yet boss!" hahah, it was funny. so then dj says again "are you scared?? huh? are you scared??" and chavez is like "yes! yes im scared!" So dj picks him up and pushes him again and hes like "get the fuck outta here!!" and chavez starts to walk away. Oh yeah, i forgot to say before, tim was over by the road hiding in the bushes before chavez got there, haha. and earlier they were picking on tim about how when he was little some kid stole his hot wheels and he was really mad about it. and so when chavez started leaving, tim pops out and hes like "WHERES THAT FUCKER THAT STOLE MY HOT WHEELS??!" and starts CHASING him down the street. hahah, it was the funniest shit i'd ever seen. we had forgotten he was over there. ok but anyway, tim chased chavez down the street past all the other guys walking up here. and chavez i guess jumped into the woods and they couldn't find him for a while. and tim was talking to all the other guys and hes like "whered that kid go that's fuckin with margaret mary??!" hahah. i can just imagine it.

Alright.. that was my crazy weekend. Oh yeah, im sorry to erik and dustin and them who lost their drinks while running away from whoever whenever you ran. my sincerest apologies. and i told you i didnt know my brother was home, but yeah, i did, and im sorry i lied. but... hahaha. im sorry, but its frickin hilarious. And just for the record, my brother's not crazy. hahaha.. yeah he was like "well be ready marg cuz the rumor's gonna spread that i'm crazy." haha. but hes not. come on, hes my big brother.. he's just a little protective ;) :P

Leave lotsa comments.. hahaha :D

~Margie~

i just wanna say..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!!!!!!

i love you

and yeah its after midnight but i just havent been on

but i love you and happy birthday :D

Im in french right now... bored.. with my vinnie and sophaaa

2 more days til summer

besides the sience regents

FUCK YEAH!

:D

i love vanessa

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I died from natural causes:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Hair:
» Family:


WOULD YOU:
» Be my friend?:
» Keep a secret if I told you one?:
» Hold my hand?:
» Take a bullet for me?:
» Keep in touch?:
» Try and solve my problems?:
» Love me?:
» Date me?:


HAVE YOU EVER:
» Lied to make me feel better?:
» Wanted to kiss me?:
» Wanted to kill me?:
» Broke my heart?:
» Kept something important from me?:
» Thought I was unbearably annoying?:


And More-
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you (doooooo ittttt!)?

p.s. i have to say i love sophie because she got jealous that i said i love vanessa

i love sophie

wow.. alright.. good times last night hahaha..

yeah im not gonna explain lol

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIIIC???!

"You're just holding God's hand... he'll lead you here and he'll lead you there, but you always know he'll take you home somewhere safe."

My Aunt Aggie said that to my dad when my sister Liz was in the hospital. Well, today He took my Aunt Aggie to her safe home in Heaven. It was today around 2:30, they weren't sure.. anywhere between 2:20 and 2:45 they said. I was at the hospital when it happened. I wasn't expecting to be there when it happened. It was only the second time i had gone up to the hospital to see her. And i just found out this morning that we were going up. We were actually going up to get my Grandma's car or something like that, and we were just gonna stop in and visit everyone. my dad didn't want me to go in and see my aunt, he said he'd rather have me remember her the way she was. she had lost about 60 or 70 pounds in the past couple weeks, since she went in the hospital.

We got up there, and we had been sitting in the waiting room for maybe 5 minutes, probably less, when my cousin and God mother Cara came out from visiting her mom in her room. She had tears in her eyes and she was using her cell phone, telling someone that they "Should come up here as soon as they could.. you might have to stay here for a little bit..". I didnt know what was going on, but obviously i was worried right away. She said hi, but it was just a quick hello and she went back into my aunt's room. A couple minutes later the priest walked by, and went into her room. I looked over and i saw my Dad saying "I think this is it..." to my brother. Three priests ended up coming to see my Aunt Aggie today.

Next thing i know.. it was a while later but everything just seems like it went by really fast.. everyone's crying. And i just sat there in my little chair, trying not to believe it, looking away from everybody. I've realized that one of the things that really gets to me is seeing people you love cry.. it makes me cry too. I really did know what had happened, i just tried not to believe it. But then my dad called me away into the hallway and told me. and i just cried.. but its hard.. cuz it feels like you've gotta hold it in sometimes.

I got to kiss her good bye. My dad was right.. it didn't look like her. She had lost so much weight, and it looked as if she had aged fifty years over night. thats gotta be one of the hardest things i'm gonna have to see in my life, my aunt in that condition. but i went over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

One of the weirdest things about this whole thing.. is my dreams. I've had dreams about my Aunt for the past two nights. The first dream, she was laying in her hospital bed. And i remember she wasn't laying in it like normal, but with her head in her arms sort of on her stomach. Almost as if she was crying. She might've been crying in my dream, im not sure. but i remember i walked over and threw my arms around her and kissed her and kept saying i love you, i love you. Then last night, the second dream, she seemed better, almost. I remember we were all at a picnic outside, the whole family. and she still looked really sick, but she was out there with all the rest of us, having a good time. and she was happier than in my last dream.

I told my dad about this.. and he said, "She was coming to you margaret mary.. it's almost as if she was telling you she was coming closer to paradise.. and she knew you were concerned about her. even though she wasn't gone yet, she could still have had the ability to do that, and to visit you.." And it makes perfect sense. She was sad in the first dream.. then the second one she was happier, not in her hospital bed. And now today, she's in Heaven.. in paradise.

Isn't that crazy..? It's so cool though.. that she came to me. I almost feel special.. honored.. that I was one to experience that. I remember when I was little, i used to call her "The Great Aunt Aggie", lol. And whenever i'd go running by her she'd catch me and bite my ears and give me a great big hug and a kiss. and whenever i saw her she'd give me a giaaaantt hug and say "ooo i love this giiirll!!" man, im gonna miss her. so much. she was my confirmation sponsor, too. but i cant say how glad i am she's just not suffering anymore. shes free, she's happy. and i'll get to see her again some day. i love her so much.

RIP my Aunt Aggie

Well, calling hours were today. Yeah. It was sad. But it's so weird.. I don't really know how to feel right now. I'm so sad, really, it hit me harder than I thought it would when i first found out she was sick. But.. i thik about it.. she was suffering so much. And now theres no more worry about it.. she's free from it all.. she's happy. and everyone's gonna miss her so much and this family's just not gonna be the same.. but we're all gonna see her again someday. I always tell people, when they're so sad from a death of a loved one, that just think about it: The time you have to spend without them right now is soo short compared to the eternity you'll be with them when you get to see them again. and i think thats so true. its really hard.. but i still find that comforting.

pray for liz, i just found out she's gotta have another surgery this summer.

too much shit man.

but thank all you guys for everything.. i wrote a commet back to everyone who left stuff for my last entry.

i miss all my friends!! i feel like i havent talked or hung out with them.. its only been a few days though, lol. its ok though after tomorrow.. we've got the whole summer baby.

Lets see.. tomorrow's the living environment regents. i dont really think it'll be that bad. i had mrs. coon and she did a really good job preparing us for it.. it should be ok. i havent had the chance to study, though.. with everything going on. i'm actually missing the second half of her calling hours so i could come home and study.

Soo tomorrow i've got a regents at 8 and then gotta go to a funeral. wonderful.

leave the love

Maaan its summer :D...  i'm soo happy

Yesterday was the funeral.. it was like all day and it was really sad. and then a bunch of people went to sam's house and went camping but my dad didnt want me to go anywhere.

you know what i think i need? i just need my friends right now. i've been home with my family for like the past week and alls i think about is my aunt and stuff. i just need a night with the girls. i miss you guyyyysss

Leave the loveness

OPRAH IS MY IDOL.

She's just damn amazing.

dont you agree??

Yesterday was a lot of fun.. i went up to sopha's with katie lynn and we all went swimmin with andy. we were soo hot.. but the lake was really nice. then we all had dinner and just hung out, u kno. hahah, i was being really mean to andy. but i was jp around.. but i guess hes not used to that yet.. hahaha. lol i still love ya andrew

Well today's been pretty good so far. me n my sister mich went up to the mall n i got a bunch of stuff.. put it on daddys credit card... shhhh...hahah. yeah we didnt tell my mom cuz she'd be mad but we'll tell my dad later. Hey, it was only like $200 for a shit load of stuff. so we did pretty good lol.

I forgot how much fun summer is.. you just don't have to do anything, lol. well i'm doing summer league basketball this year. but i mean whatever.. i dont really care lol. but that should be pretty fun. mr. pierce really wanted me to play so i was just finally like fiiineee.. but i did wanna do it. it'll be good.

My e boner's only here for another 4 days.. yeah.. gotta party it up now. i dont want her to frickin leeeaaave!!! i think i might go down there tonight. it'd be fun if i did.. i think celeste would b goin too.

Leave the love....

Alright sorry.. my computer was gettin fixed for the past couple days. yeah it had a couple viruses on it.. a shit load of spyware and stuff. but its all gone nowwww.. i hope. i havent had like any pop ups.. which i had a ton of before. Does anyone else get these pop up things that are called "aurora"? i dont know wtf it is.. but they're the only ones i get now. its ok tho i guess, theres only a couple. but i dont know what it is.

Basketball's goin good.. im glad i did it. but now the coach wants the whole team to go to bball camp.. and i dont know if i want to go play basketball all day and then have to go play a game anyway. oh well. its not like i have anything better to do, lol. but still.. all day playin basketball?? gaaahhh.

Oh and i might've said something to you guys about a 4th of july party at my house. but i guess its off now b/c my mom doesnt want me havin a bunch of people up. its ok tho.. im havin one towards the end of summer for my birthday. yeah, yeah my birthday's not til november but i think it'd be a lot better to have my party in the summer time so we can camp out and have a bon fire and stuff.

Hmm i dont know what else is new...

summer time... the living's easy 8)

Well well well... im all hot and sweaty right now, just got back from basketball. Yeah it's kinda funny b/c I feel like I don't know any of the plays. but i feel like we're gonna do good with plays with this team. Yes, it'll be good.

I wanna get together with people soon. I'm thinking getting everyone together somewhere tomorrow?? Anyone up for it??

You know what i love? The movie elf. hahaha. ok that was random. but still.. we were watching it at the hotel a few nights ago. and before that ebony was eating cotton balls like he does in the movie sorta. She ate like 3 of em.. hahaha. they just taste like paper.. but i can't swallow them. Yeah yeah ok we were a bit intoxicated but whatever...

Oh my god.. i saw the most amazing tv show yesterday.. anyone ever watch Trigger Happy TV?? hahahaha... omg.. its so hilarious. It's just like these guys and one or two girls that go around and do random things in the middle of the city like on the streets and stuff. There was this one.. where one of the girls dressed up as a nun and went golfing at one of those range things. like not on a course, just where you go and hit the balls. and she messed up her hit and shes like "mother fuck!!!" and everyone just kinda stares at her. cuz its a nun, u know. hahaha... yeah a little bit iffy for the religion part.... but still funny. you gotta admit.

Ok leave me love.. questions.. whatever. Just leave a damn comment :)

ok. my parents are GAY

I really dont know when the last time i had someone over to spend the night. and i don't remember who it was either. because for the past.. i dont know.. 2 or 3 months i've been only going to other people's houses to stay. like the hotel or sophies house.. its like its this big deal, this big production if i just have people up to spend the night. i mean wtf...

i thought everything was gonna change after we got the basement done. cuz then we'd actually have some place to go and we wouldnt be loud so it wouldnt be a big deal. but now.. no. and their excuse is that my dads "not up to it.. he doesnt wanna deal with it." Ok now tell me this: what exactly does he have to deal with?? We're not little kids anymore. He doesn't have to sit there and baby sit us. we're capable of being by ourselves for the night, and be responsible. it's really NOT A BIG DEAL. and i'm starting to feel bad b/c i'm always going to other people's houses.... and whenever i try to have people here it falls through. i just don't think its fair to me. or my friends.. im sorry. but i cant really help it and thats what PISSES me off.

Ok. i'm done bitching. uughh... im all sticky and sweaty again from basketball. shoooowerrr time

Questions anybody?? Or just leave me some love ;)

Hmm.. i'm supposed to be cleaning right now.. again.. but oh well. i'll just sit her til i get yelled at. isn't that smart of me?

I feel like i haven't done anything in a while.. like gotten together with anybody. me n Soph were talkin about this the other day..about how we feel like we've been turning things down. haha i dont know why. if somebody invites me over i'll just be like ohh ok, and not call them back or something. and then i end up sitting home bored again. i dont know why i do this lol. i think i just don't feel like doing anything at the moment... but then later i'll wish i just did it anyway.

I think somebody should have a 4th of july party.. since i cant any more. Well me n hil were trying to come up with some plans for it.. but i dont know whats goin on with that.  ohhh well, just let me know if you come up with anything.

Ebony is leaving today... :( yeah it sucks big time. we had a lot of good times while she was here though.. haha. and there's always next year. it just still really stinks. IM GONNA MISS YOU EBONY!!!!

Hmm hmm what else is going onnn.... oh, graduation partys today. Not sure who's im going to, but whatever, it'll be fun right? i think meghan orbin's and ryan boyce's. not positive though.

If you were to lose your sight tomorrow, what's the last thing you would want to see?

Answer it or just leave the love :)

Today was a pretty good day. I spent the whole thing with my sisters.. we were going up to "old navy".. which is where i thought we were going. but i guess last night Liz lost her cell phone in a field last night when she was drinkin watchin fire works with her friends. and the field is right up by the mall hahaha. leave it to liz. anyway, we got up there and she found her phone right away. So then we were all pretty hungry and decided to go to a chinese buffet thing up in elmira. omg... we stayed there for like.. hours. we were all just laughin together and tellin crazy stories, it was seriously so much fun. i've always thought i've spent a lot of time with my sisters, but never all together, really. but we have so much fun together.. and we're gonna try to hang out more, all 3 of us.

Then we jus stopped at rue 21.. and there was a bunch of sales there. but i jus got like a shirt and a watch b/c i had no money. we put it on my dad's credit card and we've been puttin a lot of stuff on there lately so i didnt really get much. michelle and liz did though hahaha. plus i swear there are like NO small sizes in there. Does anyone else ever ever experience that??

DONT THEY EVER THINK OF THE LITTLE PEOPLE??!

alright... leave the love yall. ha. i pulled an ebony.

Just leave the damn comments.

4th of July... fun fun. It was a good one, i'd have to say. I just had basketball camp in the morning til about 1:30 or so, then we had some family picnic thing. i thought it was gonna be really gay but it was at lodi point, which is really nice. i basically just hung out with my sisters n my cousins on the lake. and ate a ton of food. after that, i picked up sophie n vanessa on the way home and we went to clute park. we were gonna go on this cruise thing on keuka lake but it fell through. oh well though, there's always next week. So anyway we went to clute park and watched the fireworks for a while. It was ok, there were a lot of people there but nothing real big. Then we went back to Sophie's house and camped out.. and had some umm.. "intruders" come and "scare us". yeah that was hilarious but i'm not gonna go into detail.

aaand i didn't feel like going to basketball camp this morning so i didn't. Me n soph slept in til like 1 lol. and vinnie got up and went to camp by herself.. haha im sorry vanessa :(. But i went to practice today and that was good.

QUESTION: Do you like the picture i have on  here now? or should i put the old one back up.

answer it

leave the love

Ok so i haven't put any pictures up yet.. but i'll get around to it eventually. I finally got sick of my blog set up so i decided to change it.. plus people were filing complaints that it was a pain in the ass to have to scroll it over to the right trying to read it. stupid craver and sophie. haha yeah im not that creative with the reply things but whatever, you'll get over it.

Wellll tomorrow's the last day of basketball camp.... yeah i still dont wanna go. but whatever, it gets out an hour earlier then usual. Then who knows what i'm doing.. i think im supposed to hang out with andy.. then i might have some people up. man im so horrible at planning things.. i never ever know what i'm doing hahah.

I'm so tired...

Shoot for the Moon... if you happen to miss
You'll land among the Stars :)

~margie~

i just wnated to say i love vanessa and sophie and katie and hilary and amy and michelle and celeste and john michael and sam and nash and andy and kiki and ebony and everybody else for damn ever. EVER EVER EVER wow

no. im not intosxitecated. or am i??! I LLOVE YOU 

sophie says hello. and i love you

LOVE LOVE LOVE

i love you andyh you're so perfect for me. seriously. i love you

hmm wow sorry bout that last entry....

shoot for the moon

Hahaha hmmm ok now that i'm sobered up... yes it's 7:44 pm, i know. But now that i am i can tell you about last night.

First Andy came over for a little bit and we just hung out in the basement. then a little bit later john michael and john nash showed up. Yeah Nash left today :( it sucks. But anyway.. they showed up and then a few minutes later Vanessa came. Then Sophie. Then Katie. so we all just chilled for a while til john michael and john nash had to leave. then it was just me sophie vanessa katie and andy. at about 11 my mom took andy home so it was just us girls. and thaaats when we cracked em open.

It was fun tho.. except i spilled so much stuff on my pool table hahah, oh shit. good thing sophie's an expert about cleaning that up even though she didnt know it. So we were just listening to music hangin out in the basement. And then we went outside and met dustin, erik, and nick out at the end of my driveway. haha i had to turn my alarm off to get out. i wonder how my parents didnt wake up... hahah... but yes they had even more alcohol and we sat outside and hung out with them. and everytime a car came we'd jump in the ditch. i got soo muddy but i didnt even notice it til i got inside. and i forgot about it so when i woke up i was like WTF how did i get all this shit on me??! hahaha.

and then Liz got home. she was outside hangin out with us for a while, smokin cigars, just drinkin, it was fun. Michelle came home too but she just went inside and uhhh went to bed? i dont know. but she wasn't outside with us. Then the boys left so we just went inside and were talkin to liz about everything. and i think people made a bunch of food. oh yeah! i remember eating popcorn. but i wasnt paying attention b/c i was on the phone with people. who? i dont know. i remember calling andy. and i guess i left michelle a voice mail, i heard it this morning. i looked at my recent calls and it said i called these guys my brother dj's friends with from college hahahaha. yeah, matt and hickey. ooooh shit hahahaha... man i dont wanna know what i said.

So even though that was so much fun... i payed for it today. Ohhh yes i payed for it. NOT fun. hahahaha.

Hope everybody had fun last night.. might be a while til we do it again here. But ooohhh well..... good times good times.

So what do all you people with too much time on their hands looking at blogs think of this. No i'm not insulting you cuz i'm one too. But hmm do you think its funny? Stupid? just tell me. because i know you have nothing better to do.

hahahaha

SHOOT FOR THE MOON YALL

Just got back from the movies.. went to see War of the Worlds. Yeah, i dont know if im a very big fan. it kinda sucked. and i usually like movies like that a lot... i dont know lol. whateverrr.. maybe its one of the movies where you watch it for the first time and you're like wow thats so stupid.. but then after you watch it a couple times you kinda like it. or maybe im just weird. whatever.... i still got to hang out with.. my people :) so it was good. it was me, sophie, katie, andy and john michael. iiit was fun.

I'm so tired.. i dont even know why. i slept til like 11 30 this morning.. and all i did was go to church, went shopping w/my sister and then just hung around the house. til the movies. whatever i dont know man

i dont feel like writing... maybe tomorrow

sorry this sucks. shoot for the damn moon

i have nothing interesting to write about

Ok.. so i guess Liz has to get another surgery. this shit never ends i swear....

well last time they did an exploratory surgery b/c her scans and everything were clear but her cancer numbers went up after a while. and then they did surgery and found a bunch more little tumors. we didnt even think they'd find anything.. and it's like its happening all over again. this will be the third time getting tumors removed if they find any. its just.. i dont know its just not freakin fair. shes only 20.. and for the past year and a half her life has been tumors, chemo, cancer.... this should be the peak of her life. sure i know she's still out having fun with her friends and what not.. but it almost seems to me she does it for escape. that's her way with dealing with it: going out and partying. but then the reality just crashes all down on her again and shes gotta come back to her life of cancer.

And it seems to me it still really shakes up the family.. i still catch my mom with tears in her eyes and my dad's been actin real weird lately. just.. out of it. And yet at the same time its like we're all numb to it now. Trying to keep an upbeat attitude, hoping for a miracle, just trying to pray for one... its just still all so surreal.

So pray for Liz.. surgery is August 1st, she'll have to stay in the hospital for about 4 or 5 days after. i'm probably gonna be up there the whole time, but, whatever. Hopefully they won't find any more frickin tumors or cancer... but just pray for her. And thanks so much for everyone for always bein there.. uve got no idea how much it means or how much it helps.

Shoot for the moon.....

~margie~

Wellll today was a pretty good day. Me soph n katie went up to ithaca to shop in the commons and at the mall.

And we went out to lunch by a place thats run by a cult. ha. it was funny.
They give you special tea called Mate.. with an accent thing over the e, i dont know how to make it. so it sounds like ma-tay. It was pretty good though... its supposed to be a "stimulant" sort of like coffee but without caffeine. atleast thats what the lady said. and they gave out pamphlets trying to get you to join their cult.

But hey, atleast the food was good.

Then at 6 i went and saw charlie and the chocolate factory... weird... stuff. it wasnt as good as the old one id have to say but it was still pretty good i suppose.

Hahaha. hippie cult tea.. I think that stuff could mess you up durn good

Uuughh man im bored, hahaha. well not really. procrastinators are never bored because they know there's always something they could be doing.

Last night was fun. DJ had a few of his friends up and they had a huge bonfire in our yard. i just chilled with them for the night and went to sleep. It was funny though, our neighbor called us saying there were sparks landing on her roof because the fire was so big at first. it was huuuuge.. but it died down so it was all good. 

omg andy got in an accident on his dirt bike :( he almost hit a deer and i guess he flipped his bike and his face and neck got all messed up. he had to get stitches n stuff. my poor boy.. haha that kids crazy... but i love him :) but yeah it sucks. i was supposed to go up to his house tonight, but you know thats alright i just hope he feels better soon.

YANKEES WON!!!!! against red sox hahahh. ok so they lost like 17-1 last night but OH WELL it happens. yankees are still amazingggggg :D

It looks like its supposed to storm soon... i love thunderstorms yaya :) like the really big ones that rattle the whole house when it thunders..

..ah man.. gotta love the simple things in life.

Shoot for the moon

Saw Wedding Crashers today w/michelle.. haha its really good, i recommend it :P

I need to start reading. Really... i really need to.

Todays lesson: read bitches.

im tired. maybe ill go to sleep. damn its only 9:24... about... 4 or 5 hours before i usually go to sleep.. hmmm...

GO COOL KIDS CULT

WHY THE FUCK

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY THE FUCK

IT PISSES ME OFF

I DONT KNOW WHY IM IN SUCH A BAD FUCKING MOOD.

OH YEAH. MY DAD HAS TO GET SURGERY ON AUGUST 5TH.

LIZ HAS TO GET SURGERY ON THE 15TH.

oh and by the way 15th=the day soccer starts

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MANAGE THAT

and oh yeah.. i havent seen andy in like a week already. because hes.... hurt.

BUT HE CAN STILL HANG OUT WITH 3 OTHER GIRLS. MAKE SENSE? NA DIDNT THINK SO

FUCK CANCER

FUCK SURGERY

FUCK SOCCER

FUCK YOU

i.hate.this.mother.fucking.shit

ok im spent

Alright alright i'm sorry... i flipped out there for a little bit.

But i'm fine now. i dont really know why i just went crazy like that. Just wasnt in a good mood i guess.. and when i'm in a bad mood all i can think about is negative things. but i went down to the lake and relaxed there for a while... that was really nice so im all fine and, uh.. normal now haha.

Thanks for leavin the comments n makin me feel better :P I think i need some special cult tea soon. that might help too.

Today was wonderfullll

Went to sophie's last night.. went swimming, visited jeff learn for a while, had our hippie tea, went to bed. Then today we woke up and went out for breakfast at Savard's.. we ran into Dustin so we hung out with him for a little bit. Went home and we all fell asleep for a couple hours, hahah. then we went swimming, made more tea haha, and made home made mac n cheese.

Thennn i had to go to my game. and the other team didnt show up so we won by forfeit :D hahaha... but we still had to play odessa, but only for two 12 minute halves and they didnt keep score. but i guess we ended up winning by a point. haaa who cares, it was all good.

So.. today was a very.. relaxed day. ahh gotta love it. i dont want summer to end..... just the feeling like you have nothing to be responsible for, nowhere you have to be, just so care free....

until reality hits you. But hey its a lot easier to live in fantasies in the summer. :)

Have you ever noticed.. that all people are really afraid of is the unkown.

We don't know what's in the dark, we're afraid of the dark.

We don't know if there's aliens, if they're nice or evil, we're afraid of aliens.

We dont' know if ghosts exist or what they are or what their purpose is, we're afraid of ghosts.

We don't know if we'll live or die in certain situations, we're afraid of what might happen.

We don't know what death is like, we're afraid of death.

..just a random thought.

hahahaha

i'm sitting here and my alarm keeps going off, saying there's a gas leak in the basement.

i was just down there for a while cleaning and i started feeling dizzy and my chest started to hurt. but i dont know it probably has nothing to do with any gas leak.

but we dont know what to do and the alarm just keeps going off and the guys from the alarm system company keep calling our house. and we dont know whats going on.

hahahahahaha.. yeah gotta love my house

Soo spent last night here, with celeste and kates. John michael, Nash and andy were here for a while too. We watched American History X...  yeah that movie's messed up. then went in the hottub for a little bit. then the guys left and we just hung out and basically passed out on the couch.

I can't wait til soccer starts... but... it sucks b/c its the same day as Liz's surgery. I guess i just need to talk to Estey ahead of time because i need to be at the hospital with my sister. soccer's really important to me and it does suck that she's a new coach and has never seen me play.. and i'm trying out for varsity.. but liz is so much more important. i'd rather miss a week of try outs than not be there for my sister. Just not right....

It's so nice out today... its so sunny but not really really hot. it puts me in a good mood :) it'd be perfect if it went almost all day like this then there was just a huge thunderstorm. that'd make my day :D but.. not gonna happen i suppose. ooohhhh well

I feel like getting a lot done today. So maybe i will :)... if only i could pull myself away from the damn computer.

DAMN YOU MINDSAY

:D shoot for the moon